Graduation....and Looking Back

Shakespeare liken time to a winged chariot and ancient prophets called it a mist, a vapor, a flower, a weed--a transient passing through Earth. I couln't agree more.

When Shaina was born, strangers stopped to admire and invariably, they have one comment:

How cute! Enjoy, they grow up so fast.

I looked at my little bundle, snugged and content in her carrier, oblivious to the world at large and down at my sorry ensemble of elastic pants and stained T-shirt and thought:

Easy for you to say. I haven't had a good night sleep in days and I look like crap.

The bundle of "total dependence on me" became a liability I cannot sever. Sleepless nights, leaky body parts (both hers and mine), heaps of throw-up cloths, countless diaper changes( some can induce gagging) and endless feeding times took its toil and I'm sure the much extolled joy of motherhood is a myth. Time languished in the rounds of chores and raging "blue" hormones and there are times when I couldn't wait for Steve to come home, so I can shove the responsibility at him and whined, "Here, take a beating!" and ran out of the door to reclaim my sanity.

Time crawled when you are watching for milestones--first sit-up, first teeth and the ubiquitous teething ring from the refrigerator and at times, your arm if occasions allowed (remember teeth marks?), first crawl and finally the much awaited first steps. As you celebrated each milestone with whopping jumps of joy and maybe a victory dance around the living room, you realized that maybe motherhood may be all it's cracked up to be. The grueling routine was slowly replaced and rewarded with happy coo-ing, laughter that sounded more like hiccups and warm droolly fingers wrapping themselves around yours. Your heart melts and life takes on a rainbow hue as time skipped along...


You turned the corner and first grade came. As you took her first day of school picture, the toothless grin in a brand new dress, completed with her "Hello Kitty" roller backpack and an eagerness to take on the world, you can't help but feel a tinge of sadness. She would leave the world of play dough and enter the world of homework, assignments, datelines and the sometimes treacherous web of friendships. You worry about the weight of responsibility on her small shoulders and realized that you can't shield her forever. And you thought that it would take forever to get here.

Ancient wisdom hits home and you resolve to savor each moment and capture them with the elusive net of time. You're determined to chronicle each event, activity and achievement in the scrapbook of life. Sleepovers, birthday parties, field trips, family outings and activities--in different settings and circumstances--you've rolls of tape and films, boxes of pictures stashed somewhere for posterity. You've felt the stirring of time and the undercurrents gaining momentum and you're not about to let it slip.

But it did, in the whirlwind of everyday activities and chores, time has come and gone and now another milestone--your baby is graduating. As inches creep on that once diminutive frame, you recalled with nostalgia the lyrics of the song,"...Every day's changing, I'm rearranging.." Your child is rearranging, not just physically but emotionally--the growing independence, the slight drawing away and the maturing of thoughts.

As graduation draws near, and your child enters another phrase, experienced moms may warn you of challenges ahead. There will be roadblocks and potholes (and the occasional coasting - thank God!) but hey, experience has taught us to hang in there and enjoy the ride as this too would pass in a blink.